Dating and relationships in the modern world can be complicated. Long gone are the days of courtships. The new norm when it comes to dating is hookups, ghosting, and being so vague that nobody knows what the hell is happening. And to spice that up even more, we now have a global pandemic which has forced everyone to become more separated and distant than ever before in our lifetime. So, after reflecting on how lonely I was last year, I decided I would finally give the online dating scene a chance. I mean it’s 2021, a new year and a new beginning, might as well start it out with a bang. I decided to download the top three most popular dating apps and give them a try for at least a month. It doesn’t hurt to try and put your out there right? Well, I am here to give you my reviews of these apps from my little experiment and let you know what I liked about each one and what I really could have done without. So, if you are interested in trying out this new way of dating, then keep on reading because this is the article for you.
HINGE So, first I decided to start with Hinge. Based on what my friends have told me, this is the safest bet for trying to find a true relationship from the online dating world. Hinge brands itself as the “app designed to be deleted” and no not because you didn’t like it, but because you have actually made a real connection with someone and do not want to use dating apps anymore. Hinge sets up their profiles by having multiple pictures with optional prompts and a series of questions that you can answer on your profile. What makes this app unique is that instead of the traditional swiping left or right, you are made to like a certain part of the person’s profile. This helps you to see actually what you liked about a person and is a great conversation starter. I feel like this method makes you give more people a chance than you would have by just looking at one picture of them before deciding to swipe. The downside to this though is that you do have to put more effort in, which is good on one hand since it weeds out the guys who don’t care as much, but then at the same time it was exhausting for me to keep up with. One reason that I did not like Hinge was that I could not change the height preferences on the free version of this app. Being a girl who is 5’10, it’s a bit annoying when Hinge puts up someone who is 5’6 on my list, like doesn’t your algorithm understand that I don’t really want to be with a guy half my height? Like come on Hinge, help a girl out here. But anyways, I met some decent people through this app that did want to have genuine conversations with me. I will say though that this app was not my favorite out of the three. One of these reasons is that Hinge seems to want to make you pay for a lot of things, like to see more of the people that it thinks would actually be good matches for you. This really annoyed me. But, one positive thing I can take away from this app is that I met one guy the day before I deleted it and he seems to be a frontrunner at the moment, so maybe something will come from that. BUMBLE The next app I downloaded was Bumble, which is marketed as the feminist dating app or female empowered Tinder. Bumble is like a hybrid of Hinge and Tinder, not too hot or too cold, but just right. It has a good mix between the swiping feature, but also having good prompts and questions to start conversations with. The unique thing about Bumble is that the girls have to initiate the conversation. This was put into place primarily to weed out the creepy guys and to give the power back to the women, but honestly with my personality, I wasn’t the biggest fan of it. I kind of like having the cheesy pickup line from the guy, so that was a downside for me on this app. Another feature that Bumble has is that once you match with a person, there is a 24-hour time limit where you have to message them. This puts some pressure on the situation and I didn’t like it personally. This is because I do not keep up with things on my phone too much especially on my work days since we are not allowed to be on our phones. I’ve timed out on a lot of matches before. But even with that, I did really like some of the matches that I got on this app. While I did get more guys who just wanted something casual or a hookup, I still got many people that were more into finding someone to exclusively date, which was very nice. I would probably say that out of the three apps I used, Bumble was my favorite since it had features that I liked from the other two. TINDER Oh Tinder, the app that started it all. Believe it or not, I actually got a Tinder for a few days when I was in high school. Since I had made my Facebook at such an early age, I lied about what year I was born in back then, so it thought I was much older than I really was. That’s why you can’t always trust everyone you meet on the Internet people!! Catfishing is real. But anyways, you probably already know about Tinder’s layout and method. It is the one that made swiping a thing. Tinder allows you to have a short bio under your pictures, which people usually put a funny quote or their Instagram or Snapchat. Some even their OnlyFans account. This part I don’t like because I feel as if the questions on other apps allow you to get to know the personality a little more, so it makes this whole process feel a little bit less shallow. You can only tell so much about a person from a few pictures. This sort of dehumanization of people is probably one of the reasons why Tinder has the reputation out of all of these apps as being the one for hookups or short-term flings. But, I have heard many stories and know of many people that have met their significant other on this app. I think the biggest advantage of using Tinder is that they have the largest user base, so you’re more likely to meet someone who is your type or that you could get along with. Even though there are those individuals on dating apps who do not have the best intentions, there are those that do want a genuine connection. So, I wouldn’t completely give up on Tinder yet. You might just have to put in a little more effort in weeding out the good from the bad, but it could potentially be worth it in the end. So, to sum everything up, online dating can be very exhausting and time consuming. You will get the high of having all of these matches at first due to the algorithms pushing new members onto more feeds, but after a while, the fun will slow down a bit. A positive of dating apps is that you will come across many people that you would not have even known existed otherwise, so your options have expanded. But, the downside is that you have to search through these options to find the gems that are truly worth your time and energy. Online dating is a world where you can find any type of relationship based on what you are looking for at the time, which can be nice. But, for those old souls like myself, it can feel a little emotionless and devoid that romantic feeling we have always longed for in a love story. I will say though that I think I might have met a good one from this experience, so maybe it was all worth it in the end. I would recommend if you have ever considered using dating apps, now is the best time to use them since so many people have chosen or been forced to use them given the world we live in today. So, go for it! Live your life and have new experiences, but remember, at the end of the day, you do not need anyone to complete you or make you worthy. You alone are enough! Love you guys and thanks for reading! Leave us a comment about your recent dating experiences, fails and successes, and follow us on Instagram and Pinterest @ShesSpeakingBlog for more girl talk and college/life advice!
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Hello, everyone! Co-founder Kenzie here on the blog this week. We hope you enjoyed last week’s blog post about Greek Life and Sorority Pros and Cons. This week I want to talk about something that’s relevant to all of us. Whether you’re going for your dream job interview, getting up on stage to sing in front of a crowd, or speaking your opinion in a group of friends, we all want to have confidence. Confidence is essential to feel good about yourself, stand up for what you want and deserve, and achieve your goals. Some of us want to improve our self-confidence, while others of us want to learn how to start building confidence from the ground up. Either way, I want to share some tips and tricks for building and improving confidence, and bust some myths about self-confidence that you might have.
What is Self-Confidence? So first, what is self-confidence? Self-confidence is defined as the courage to know yourself, believe in yourself, and act on your beliefs. It can also be defined as a positive feeling about oneself and the world that leads to courageous actions born out of a sense of self-respect. Self-Confidence is what allows us to stand tall, stick up for ourselves and what we believe in, and contributes to our ideas of self worth. Self-confidence is an important trait to build, however, there are several common myths surrounding confidence. Confidence Myths Busted Do you think you know what self-confidence really is? Check to see how many of these common confidence myths you believe. . . Confident Women Were Just “Born This Way” Most women are not born naturally confident. In fact, most confident women have faced tough relationships with themselves. Women that appear confident have had to carry themselves through the journey of building confidence, just as you will have to do, before they make confidence “look easy”. You can research some of the most famous women of our time (think Michelle Obama, Taylor Swift, Oprah) and you’ll find that they all struggled with or continue to struggle with self-confidence. These women were able to put in the work and build confidence, so can you! Changing Your Body is the Key to Being More Confident The idea of changing your body or your appearance to look more confident might work at first, but this isn’t a long-term solution. To build real, genuine self-confidence you have to deal with what’s beneath the surface of your confidence issues. This means dealing with the tough stuff - self-worth issues, limiting beliefs, body image, etc. When Someone Loves You, You’ll Finally Feel Pretty, Confident, and Worthy Finding validation in someone else is not the way to build self-confidence. You have to find internal validation, self-acceptance, to change the beliefs inside of you that are holding back your confidence. While a loving, caring partner can help you see yourself with more kindness, your partner cannot do the internal work for you. You have to do the hard work yourself. If you go into a relationship seeking validation from your partner and expecting them to be responsible for upholding your confidence, you’re setting yourself up for a toxic relationship. Building Self-Confidence is a One-Time Only Process Confidence is an ongoing process. It doesn’t happen overnight, and once you’ve built up your confidence you have to work to keep it up. Your confidence levels will fluctuate with the highs and lows of life. You’ll reach goals that will help boost your confidence and hit bumps in the road that challenge it, but you have to remember that confidence is a journey that requires persistent work. Now that you know these common thoughts are totally false, you can start building your confidence. Let’s talk about how to do that. Improving Confidence So, you know that you don’t have to be “born with” confidence, that confidence doesn’t come from external validation, and that building confidence is a long-term process. Now how do we do it? How can you build yourself up to be the most confident person in the room? It starts with self-care, self-love, and internal validation. There are several activities you can do to boost your self-confidence: Learn About Something You Love Educating yourself is one of the most empowering things that you can do, this is especially true when educating yourself about something that interests you. Learning more about something you love or what you do will automatically improve your confidence in yourself and your intellectual abilities. Workout Register for a local Zumba, yoga, or CrossFit class, go for a jog, or even just take your dog for a walk. Getting up and moving is key, because this releases endorphins, chemicals in the brain that make us feel happier. Not only can working out help boost happiness, it's also proven that working out can help improve self-esteem, lower anxiety, and reduce risk of depression, all of which can impact your self-confidence. Take Yourself on a Self-Development Date Yes, we’re talking about taking yourself to the movies, taking yourself out to dinner alone, or even going on a walk in the park while listening to music or podcasts. Does going out alone seem awkward or embarrassing? It shouldn’t! Learning how to spend time alone, appreciate yourself, and value your time is key to personal development in those areas that can affect self-confidence - self-worth, body image, personal beliefs, etc. Utilize this alone time to self reflect, make plans to improve, and reassure yourself with positive thoughts. Do a Self-Care Day at Home We could all use a self-care day right now, and this means more than just a spa-day. Take those extra steps to disconnect and treat yourself: step away from social media, turn off your phone and other electronics, meditate, read a good book or watch a good movie, and take time to treat yourself to a bubble bath or some delicious food. Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential to building self-confidence, because if you’re not at your best physically and mentally, it’ll be harder to portray self-confidence. The activities above are great for helping boost overall self-confidence overtime, but what if you need an in-the-moment self-confidence boost? The following ideas can instantly help boost self-confidence: Make a List of All the Things You Love About Yourself Include everything! From physical appearance, to special skills or talents, personal or relationship behaviors, or even work abilities. Seeing the list you come up with in front of your eyes will make you realize how many valuable qualities that you have and boost your self-confidence and self-worth. This activity, however, can be hard at first. It’s easy to get stumped when trying to think of positives for ourselves. So, if you’re having trouble, skip to the next activity to get a jump start on the list. Reach Out to Your Support System Text your support system (family, best friends, significant other, etc.) this question: “I am doing research and I need to know four things you admire about me”. Take a step back and realize that these are the people that you’ve picked to be in your life and they chose to stay in your life. Do you see yourself in the same positive, loving light as those that are closest to you? Place all of the positive traits they give you in the “All the Things I Love About Me” list to get it started. Remember Recent Achievements Think back over the last two years and remember all of the accomplishments and milestones you’ve hit. Graduating from school, getting into grad school, landing an internship or job, a promotion, moving out of your parents house, or reaching a travel goal. Relive every one of these accomplishments, how much planning and work they required, how amazing you felt when you succeeded. Take the time to celebrate your achievements and remind yourself how great you’re going for an instant boost of confidence. Self Affirmations These can sound cheesy, but self affirmations can be a great pick me up if you’re feeling down, and they’re proven to work! Find a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and start repeating I AM statements like “I am beautiful. I am smart. I am worthy. I am fearless. I’ve got this.”. Focus on these words, mean them when you say them, and imagine yourself succeeding and accomplishing goals as you do this. The way you speak to yourself impacts everything from your mental health to the way you carry yourself, your self-worth, and yes, your self-confidence. So speak to yourself the way you would speak to your best friend, be reassuring and positive and this will become your mindset. Confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It takes work to build real, genuine self confidence, and it’s not always an easy process. Use the tips above to help guide you in your self-confidence journey, but, if you find yourself struggling with confidence in the moment - fake it till you make it. How does anyone know you don’t feel confident if you don’t let it show? So, stand up straighter, lift your chin, and push through self-doubt or worry, because in the end as long as you make yourself appear confident, others will often believe that you are. For more confidence tips, check out the She’s Speaking Confidence Pinterest board. Follow She’s Speaking on both Instagram and Pinterest @ShesSpeakingBlog for more girl talk and life advice. Leave us a comment below about your journey to build confidence! Hey girlies!
It’s A’Leigha again to talk with you guys about G R E E K L I F E. Oh yes, sororities, are they really worth it? What is Greek Life Like? Let’s start with some background. I am a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. It was founded on November 12, 1922 on the campus of Butler University by 7 school teachers. It is the only Greek-letter organization that was founded by graduates rather than undergraduates. They founded the sorority on the principles of Sisterhood, Scholarship, and Service. Our colors are royal blue and gold. Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. has over 100,000 members without over 500 undergrad chapters throughout the U.S., Bahamas, Canada, Bermuda, Germany, Korea, and the United Arab Emirates. Sigma Gamma Rho is one of the 9 members of the National Pan-Hellenic Council (NPHC). The NPHC is an organization consisting of historically African American collegiate Greek-lettered sororities and fraternities. We call it the Divine Nine, or D9. I joined this amazing sorority in Spring 2019 by way of the Sigma Alpha chapter at Kennesaw State University. My mom was also a member of Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc., which makes me a legacy. Despite this, before coming to KSU, I did not think that I would go Greek. I did not have a direct interest in it at first. Nevertheless, my interests quickly changed after seeing the Greek life on campus. Pros of Greek Life When finding a way to describe Greek Life, I would express it as stated in the quote, “Greek life is nothing you expected, but everything you were looking for.” It is a great experience. It’s what you make of it that really matters. Connections Greek life provides you with more connections and networking than you would have had otherwise. It opens doors for you when it comes to jobs, internships, or any other networking needs that you have. This is because the people that are within your sorority, or in my case, even within the D9, will be able to connect you with the connections they have and with other D9 members. Breaking Out of Comfort Zones Greek life is also a great way to come out of your comfort zone. If you’re a shy or reserved person, joining a Greek organization will help you make more friends and be more social. You will meet so many people and your social life will flourish. You won’t be stuck in your dorm room. Community Involvement Another great part of Greek life is the amount of service you will be able to put into your community. Greek organizations give back to their communities through various programs and more. For example, my sorority hosts an annual program, called Operation Big Book Bag. Within this national program, we donate school supplies and more to facilities across the nation. We have numerous programs and aside from those, chapters complete community service separately on local levels. This being said, Greek life will help you give back to the community and feel great doing it. You will earn community service hours and create memories that you will remember forever. Learning Who You Are Lastly, Greek life will help you figure out who you are as a person. It will make you hold yourself to higher standards and improve overall. You will gain sorority sisters and make bonds that last beyond college. It is so much more than Greek parties and matching colors. Cons of Greek Life While Greek Life can come with a long list of benefits, even more than those mentioned above, there are a few cons to joining Greek Life. Time Commitment Joining a sorority can come with so many benefits, connection and engagement opportunities, however, all of these things can add up to a major time commitment. While this doesn't necessarily have to be a disadvantage, it is something that anyone considering Greek Life should be aware of. This can be a bigger issue if you struggle with time management, so take this commitment into consideration as you make you decision on Greek Life. Expenses Most Greek Life organizations require fees, dues, and some other expenses - like helping to fund certain events - that you'll be responsible for. Some Greek Life organizations offer scholarships to students who need them to remain members of the society, but there's no guarantee you'll get this help. So, make sure you consider any financial obligations that you might be taking on when choosing Greek Life. Do your research on what Greek organization interests you and observe your campus for those who you believe you relate with the most. Whether you decide to go Greek or not, it is an individual decision that is personal. Personally, I think that joining a Greek organization was one of the best decisions I made in college. If I could go back, I would do it all over again. When the time comes for you to make your decision whether or not to join a Greek organization (or any other campus organizations), I know you will make the best choice that feels right for you! Are you a member of a sorority now? Or have more questions about what it's like? Leave us a message in the comment forum down below! As always, follow us on Instagram and Pinterest @ShesSpeakingBlog for more info on Greek Life and all types of other college and girl talk advice. Hello, everyone! Co-founder Kenzie here on the blog this week. We hope you enjoyed last week’s blog post about job hunting tips and tricks. This week I want to talk about balancing everything after you’ve landed the job. Course loads at school, friends, family, significant others, pets, and job responsibilities, not to mention taking care of and prioritizing yourself! This can all become a lot to handle, especially when you’re trying to juggle all of these things at once. But don’t stress out too fast, we’re going to talk about some tips and tricks for balancing work, school, and life while also taking care of yourself.
Manage Your Time Learning how to manage your time and do it well is essential to be successful in school and work careers. When trying to balance school, work, and a family and social life, time management becomes even more essential, so that each aspect is given an adequate amount of time in your schedule. These tips can help you better manage your time when you have all of these things on your plate: Plan Your Schedule When you have this much to do, it’s essential that you plan out all of your activities, from the week down to the day. Include on your calendar your hours scheduled at work, the time you plan to spend with family or friends, and the time you plan to take for yourself. That way you can visualize where everything fits into place and be less likely to get sidetracked or behind in your responsibilities. Make To-Do Lists Did you know you’re more likely to do something when you write it down? It’s true. Seeing it on paper in front of you will make you want to complete that task so that you can cross it off your list. Personally, I live by to-do lists, and I’ll always swear that they work. Keep a calendar, but also make a to-do list for your week, and another one for your day if you need to! By the end of the week or day, when all the tasks are crossed off, you’ll know that you’ve completed everything you needed to on time. Stay Organized With this much to do, if you become disorganized you’ll start to lose track of your responsibilities and get behind. Set aside time once a day, I like to do it before I go to bed, to go around and pick up and put away anything out of place. Not only will this allow you to get a better night’s sleep knowing your space is clutter-free, but it’ll also allow you to know that everything is in its place when you get back to work the next day. Prioritize This is key! It can be tempting to do the easier, or faster tasks first. But don’t let this temptation win. Always prioritize your to-do lists and responsibilities by time restrictions and then by importance. If you have something due in six hours, you should be doing this before focusing on something that’s due next week. However, this tip also applies to balancing work and school with life. Prioritize yourself, your health, and your personal relationships. I learned this the hard way. It can be tempting to ignore phone calls from loved ones when you’re in a time crunch for deadlines. But like me, you’ll come to realize that taking a few minutes away from the task you’re working on to talk to that loved one is something you shouldn’t take for granted. You have to make time for what’s important to you. If it’s important enough, you’ll make it happen. Block Out Time for Yourself Prioritize your tasks, deadlines, to-do lists, and loved ones, but never forget to also prioritize yourself! Mark out time in your schedule just for you, take a bath, go on a walk, read, do your hair and make-up, whatever it may be that makes you feel good. Take the time to do it. If you wrap yourself up in work, school, and all of life’s responsibilities too much, without taking time for yourself, you’ll find yourself becoming burned out and overstressed, which is a recipe for disaster when trying to balance everything. Learn to Recognize When You’re Stressed With school, work, and life to deal with, it’s easy to get stressed at times. However, it’s important to know when you cross the line between a little bit of stress and stress overload. Stress overload is stress in excessive amounts and types that cause a person to respond in a way that contributes to the development of other problems. Signs of stress overload can include:
Once these symptoms set in, it can be difficult to navigate your way out of this excessive stress, but it isn’t impossible. As someone who has experienced all of these symptoms before myself, it’s never too late to realize that you need to readjust your schedule and priorities to bring your mental and physical health back together. Noticing and understanding that you’re over-stressed is the first step in the right direction. Once you’ve recognized stress, try some of the following tips to de-stress: Exercise You can go to the gym, work out from home, take a walk around the neighborhood, or anything that will get your body moving. Once you start moving you’ll release tension in your muscles, distract your mind from negative or overwhelming thoughts, and work off any anxious energy you might be carrying. Find Other Ways to Relax If exercising isn’t your thing, meditation, yoga, reading, drinking tea, playing with a pet, or even taking a short nap are all examples of healthy ways to relax your body and ease your nerves. Whatever works for you, finding what will allow your body to relax and your mind to wind down will help you reduce stress and be more successful in handling your daily tasks. Get Outside Have you ever noticed that you tend to feel relaxed when standing in the sunshine? It’s because most of us seriously lacking in vitamin D, a key vitamin in brain and body function. Take a walk outside, go sit on the porch or balcony for a while, visit a local park, anything you can do to soak up just a little bit of vitamin D can help reduce both physical and mental signs of stress. Talk to a Friend or a Loved-One Most of us have one person we love to vent or rant to. I can think of mine right off the top of my head. . .(aka, my Mom). Sometimes you have to talk it out when you’re under stress, especially if you’re starting to see symptoms like the ones listed above. Reach out to those who love and support you, talk about what’s going on, or talk about something entirely different and get your mind off the stress. Either way, talking to someone who will listen and support you can help reduce stress by reminding you that you’re not alone and that your work isn’t going unnoticed. Remember not to forget about your health (physical and mental) in the middle of balancing work, life, and school. Eat well, exercise, or at least get your body moving, and get enough sleep! The state of your physical and mental well-being can have a drastic effect on your school and work performance, so make sure to prioritize your body and mind on your list of responsibilities. Manage Conflicts You’ve found a way to manage your time, made a schedule, prioritized things to do, learned to recognize if you’re becoming too stressed. Now, how do you maintain this balance? How do you manage work, life, and school when these three things begin to overlap or become overwhelming? Maintain a balance between these three aspects and keep yourself sane by: Staying in the Moment You can’t enjoy any of the things you’re doing if you’re constantly worried about the things you’re not doing. When you’re at school and work, don’t let personal business get in the way. When out with friends and loved ones, don’t be worrying about your assignments on your desk at home. Live in the moment, focus on the present, and create memories where you are, or else you’ll find yourself resenting the feeling of lost time. Remember That You’re Human At the end of the day, we are all only human. We make mistakes, we fail some tests, we miss deadlines, we forget plans and birthdays. It happens, but you can’t beat yourself when it does. As a human, you also have to remember that sometimes you simply need a break. We’re not meant to be productive 24/7 and sometimes this means allowing yourself to take a step back and recharge. Avoiding Perfectionism This ties into the point that we’re all human, we make mistakes and don’t succeed all of the time. That’s okay! Holding yourself to impossible standards will never work out in your favor, so learn to be graceful with yourself. You don’t have to make an A on every assignment, you don’t have to make your boss think you’re super-human, and your family will understand if you can’t always take care of every need and favor they have. Be reasonable with your expectations for yourself, and set standards that allow you to be successful. Learning to Say “No” This is a hard tip, one that I’ve struggled with for years (and still do). No one ever wants to disappoint anyone, whether it be professors at school, bosses or coworkers, family or friends. But without creating boundaries and limitations, you’ll become overwhelmed and overstressed sooner rather than later. So, it’s okay to say no to that extra work assignment, you don’t always have to get those bonus points for class, and skipping one outing with friends or family to rest won’t make anyone hate you. Say no when you need to! Knowing When to Ask for Help Finally, the most important tip of them all. Everyone needs to learn when to ask for help and also learn that asking for help is okay! We all struggle at one point or another, and asking for and accepting help is perfectly normal. There are places to find help in all aspects of life. Tutoring at school, extra training and bosses at work, friends and loved ones to help with life, or even therapists for all of the above. Reaching out, no matter what kind of help you need, can help you be successful in the long run. School, work, and life by themselves can be difficult, but these three things together can be overwhelming. However, these years should be some of the best of your life, so it’s important to learn how to balance work and responsibility with fun and adventures. Finding this balance takes planning and work in itself, but once you get there you’ll be happy and successful at school, at work, and in life. For more college and life advice follow us @ShesSpeakingBlog on Instagram and Pinterest. Comment what other work/life balance tricks you have in the form below! Hey everyone! My name is Jamie Babecka and I am a co-founder of She’s Speaking. I hope you enjoyed last week’s blog about budgeting as a “broke college student.” This week I wanted to discuss something else that is on every college student and young adult’s mind. The dreaded job hunt. Do you know why you should have two different resumes? What about the best way to answer most interview questions? Have you set up your LinkedIn profile yet? Don’t worry if this all seems a little overwhelming. As a college senior that is about to graduate and has secured a Fortune 500 corporate internship, I am going to share some of my tips and tricks for resumes, interviews and LinkedIn. I am not an expert by any means, but I have been on quite a few interviews and have learned a thing or two along the way. These tips will hopefully help you land that dream first job, no matter what field you are in.
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I hope you learned some new ways you can improve your resume, interview skills and LinkedIn profile. It can be hard to land your first job, but just remember to be yourself and to step out of your comfort zone. Check out Co-Founder Brynn and I’s other job search advice on the She’s Speaking Podcast Episode 5 on Spotify. Let us know what your best job hunt hacks are in the comments below! Hey girls! Hope you are all having a fabulous day so far! For today’s blog post, I wanted to talk about something that can be a touchy topic. Money. Some people love it, some hate it, some want more of it, well I guess everyone wants more of it. But during college especially, most of us are “broke as hell” and COVID is definitely not helping that at all. So, some of these budgeting tips can help you live your best life in college while not breaking the bank.
FOOD 1. Eat at Home Ok, this might seem simple, but many people really overlook the importance of this. During college, people always choose their meals for the sake of convenience. Most people will eat at some place on campus or go to the local fast food joint to get a quick meal. The problem with this is the expenses can really add up overtime. A typical combo meal at Chick-fil-A can be around $8-$10!! If you go there every weekday, you’re looking at around $40-$50 and that’s just one meal a day! An easy way to start saving money fast is to cook your own meals at home. Try to buy some of your favorite foods in bulk and then meal prep them on one day every week, so that you can have all of your food already prepared for convenience. 2. Make Your Coffee at Home Now ladies, I know that Dunkin’ and Starbucks are amazing and no one can quite make a drink like your favorite barista at that one location, but let’s be real. For an everyday habit, Starbucks is way too expensive! I mean $5 a day for just a coffee is insanity when you figure out the cost of a homemade latte. I started this habit back in high school and luckily have saved lots over the years for it. My average drink at home which consists of my homemade cold brew, almond milk, and a little bit of half/half costs around $.80. Why would I pay over 6x the amount when I just make the coffee at home? Kind of crazy when you put it in perspective! This is definitely another way to see real tangible results in your bank account fast. Of course, you can still enjoy your favorite drink at Starbucks or Dunkin’, just try to have it in moderation. 3. Cut Back on the Alcohol Yes, I know alcohol is one of the cornerstones of the college experience, but the cost of having a drink can be one of the most expensive. I would suggest just having a drink when you can get it for free, like at a party or tailgate. Otherwise, choose to opt out for the night. Cutting back on the liquor will also help with health and weight management too, so it’s a win-win! BEAUTY 1. Learn To Do Your Own Nails Holy moly. When I started to get my nails done when I was younger, I did not realize the amount of money needed to maintain them. You’re telling me I have to come back every 2 weeks and pay this same amount again?? Yeah, there definitely has to be a better way and luckily there is. If you are able to, learning how to do your own nails can be a lifesaver when it comes to your wallet. If you like gel nails, there are plenty of gel lamps you can buy on Amazon and gel polishes usually cost around $15 a bottle. Another option that is growing in trend are high-quality press ons from companies like Static Nails. These range at around $14-15 for a set and they are reusable! 2. Cut the Gym Membership You don’t need a gym membership to be healthy and be able to work out! There are plenty of at home workout videos on YouTube and if you want to incorporate some strength training, you can buy some dumbbells and resistance bands at places like Target for a low price. 3. Makeup Dupes This is probably one of my favorite money savers. When you find a makeup dupe, you feel like you have uncovered some secret intellectual property that no one is supposed to know about. Recommendations of makeup dupes can be found on social media platforms like Pinterest, TikTok, and YouTube. Some of the product prices can be under half the original cost of the high-end version! This is a great way to save money that adds up over time and find your new holy grail product. 4. Cut/Color Your Own Hair Ok, this might be a bit of a risky one, but if you can, learn to do your own hair! I have seen some of my favorite YouTubers, like Carli Bybel, with GORGEOUS hair that they actually cut themselves! All you really need is a good, quality pair of shears and some technique and you can pretty much cut your hair yourself. If you don’t get anything too complicated when you get your hair done, like getting a simple trim, this could be a good option for you. Another way to save some money in this area is to try and get your haircut at places like Great Clips. This is another thing I did not know that a lot of people with good hair do to save money. 5. Thrift Shopping It’s already popular and there are so many videos out there on how to repurpose old clothing! Go to Goodwill, local thrift shops, and think about buying some clothes from places like Poshmark or Depop. Find local groups on Facebook and other places where you can buy old clothes or swap clothes with other people. FUN 1. Have a Fun Night at Home Instead of going out to the bars or having to spend a lot of money on a night out, opt for a fun, relaxing night in instead! Pick out your favorite rom-com to watch, play a board game, or even make some fun TikToks with your friends. The possibilities are endless. 2. Cut Cable Honestly, it’s 2021, why would you even have it at this point. There are so many streaming services with amazing content to not even consider this. Plus, if you still love live TV, Hulu and YouTube have streaming services for this now and they are half the price of cable! Just do it already! 3. Cancel Unnecessary Subscriptions Remember that influencer’s monthly health subscription you paid for a few months back? No? Yeah I didn’t think so. Most of us sometimes forget things that we sign up for and overtime, they are still drawing a monthly fee out of our accounts. Go through all your outstanding subscriptions and see which ones you actually like and use. If you don’t use them, cancel them. OTHER TIPS FOR $$ MANAGEMENT 1. Get a Budgeting App These are so helpful for tracking where your money is going and where you want to allocate it. The app that I have used and enjoyed is called EveryDollar. 2. Get a Side Hustle With the Internet, there are so many options available at our fingertips to make some extra money on the side. You can join companies like Instacart, DoorDash, or Uber Eats as a shopper/deliverer. You can sell clothes on Poshmark/Depop or old items on Mercari/ Ebay. You can start an Etsy shop for a talent you might have or even become a dog walker! 3. AVOID DEBT! Now, I know it is a positive thing to build some credit while you are young, but if you can, avoid developing too much debt on credit cards and loans at all costs. Try and pay for things only when you have the cash. Interest is a horrible way to lose money for nothing. 4. Invest Try to start investing on a lower scale into reliable stocks with good returns. Also, think about looking into a high interest savings account to put your money. Normal savings accounts at banks give you little to no interest at all for your money. Try and do something productive with it instead. Compound interest is a real and amazing thing! Implementing just a few of these tips can help you keep a little extra money in your account, start a savings account, or build up for a future investment. Let us know in the comment box below what your best budgeting tips are! Follow @ShesSpeakingBlog on Instagram and Pinterest for even more budgeting and college tips. Along with the pounds of books that college throws on students comes the pounds of weight that we have to choose what to do with. Some decide to sit on those extra pounds, some choose to shed all of it and some aren’t gifted much to manage. More often than not though, we are given unwanted pounds that we are unsure what to do with—thank you, Freshman 15!
In college, we ignore the changes in our body as they’re happening. Then, one day at the mall we have an “ahah” moment where we have to go up a size in our “favorite jeans that I always get the same size in” jeans. Or we look in the mirror and notice a muffin where our stomach used to be. While college is the first time that we make our own schedules, it is often our schedules that aids in neglecting our bodies. Between going to class, eating, hanging out with friends, working, meeting up for projects, staying up late, going to sleep—there isn’t much time to focus on the body doing all of that work. However, it is crucial to be aware of your body to be body positive. A friend of mine would describe her experience with her body during college as “on-and-off”, similar to her ex. Sometimes she’d love her body, other times she didn’t want to take one look at it. Now, she is at a pretty solid weight and doesn’t fluctuate as much. She adds that when she was bigger she would feel bad about herself. However, when she was smaller she liked her body more. She did not say that she liked herself more though. This is the case for many young ladies through college as the renown “Freshman 15” is serious business. You’re in a new place, you have food readily available, twerking is the main physical activity, so you are bound to gain weight. Fifteen pounds at that. The friend I mentioned gained fifteen and then some. My experience with my body was different. I am a thinner girl. I enjoy eating, but I’m naturally a bit health conscious because I am picky. So certain body types I may never have. When I grew up most girls were thicker than me and I was criticized for not following suit. I’m black and Liberian so according to my culture, I would be more like my people if I fattened up a bit. But I wasn’t blessed with the booty that my cousins have, or the breasts that my friend grew at ten years old. Regardless of the school I went to, I was smaller than I “should” be. So when I finally grew breasts in tenth grade I looked at my body like “okay, dang. I am a woman.” I was still skinny though so in the back of my mind when starting college there was a slither of hope that I would fill in my shape later down down down down the line. I hoped a fuller, womanly body. College made me grapple with the fact that I am not made to have someone else’s body. Which made me start looking at myself and deciding to like what I saw. Because my body is mine. I appreciate it more. What did have a damper on the way I saw my body was having a child. I came to college about the same size I left high school, which was “tall chick with small hips, “ 5’10”, which I learned was not that tall, it’s just that the girls at my high school were short. And a few years into college, I had the audacity to have a child. Many women told me they get thicker, filled in bodies after having a baby. Upon delivery, all of the weight that I gained during pregnancy left with my baby. I was so skinny, I actually felt “too skinny” like what I was being called as a kid. Because I had lost so much weight, for a while I walked around thinking my head was too big for my body—with a peanut head shape to match. My son was a great motivator for me though and he helped me get to loving my body again. He was very good growing up. Safe delivery, sweet baby, minimal crying, no terrible twos (terrible fours though we're working on it)—but no real problems with him, thank God. While I debated whether to work out intensely and drink all my macros or whatever they call it, he was there breastfeeding, playing, taking up my every day and those thoughts never became complete and I decided to live like I was instead. Eventually, I got back to the size I was before I had him. Since then, I’ve stayed that size. Every now and then I eat oatmeal a couple days in a row and I get a little ¼ pound of fat added on my booty and I feel like a thick chick for a few days. It’s nice and I enjoy that. But I also enjoy my body when that quarter pound is gone and I am at where I am typically. College showed me that it’s okay to be my size because there’s so many different sizes/shapes to be. My size is special because only I have it. In college you’re not teased about your weight as much as before because not only do you see various sizes and shapes, students also don’t have time to ridicule someone’s body because there’s degrees at stake. A lot of the shaming that is done comes from within so it is up to us to decide what we want to believe about ourselves and how it affects our lifestyle. We all have preferences with the way we want to look and it is clear that the way we look influences how we feel about ourselves. So how do we attempt to feel good about our body regardless of its size? Look at yourself Take the time to look at yourself every now and then. When you look, take note of how you feel about what you see. Take note of what you’ve been doing lately, any habits as of late? Embrace what you see It may be harder to do than it sounds but the payoff is massive! If you can find a way to embrace what you have while you’re not at your best, you’ll love yourself to infinity when you do get to the place you want to be at. You have a little extra fat, when you touch, is it soft? Soft is nice (: See What You Like Highlight your favorite parts of you. Branch off change from that. Instead of thinking “my face is getting too fat'' think “I love my eyes. What can I do to bring them out.” Take social media breaks You won’t regret it. Go outside, read a book, make something, talk to an old friend. Do anything but don’t touch Facebook, Instagram, nothing. Eyes off now! Cutting it gives you the chance to refocus on just you and your life. This is an essential part of self-care! Surround yourself with people who love you The people who love you will love you for who you are regardless of your size. Talk to them about your insecurities, find comfort in them. They can help to take the edge off when you feel a little down. They will be able to highlight your good points, helping you appreciate yourself and fueling the changes you may need to make. It’s your body, hug it! Hey girlies! It’s A’Leigha here to give you guys some wonderful advice on:
P R O C R A S T I N A T I O N. Ah yes, I know it is something that we all do. We all know how hard it is to break the cycle of procrastination. Nevertheless, I promise you that it can be done! I have several tips for managing the habit of procrastination. To start, let’s put this into a real-life situation. Currently, I am enrolled in the last 3 classes of my undergrad career. Normally, I take 5 classes per semester and these tips have been lifesaving to my success in school and overall organization. Stay Organized! The most important tip is to S T A Y O R G A N I Z E D! Do not expect yourself to remember everything that needs to be done. Keeping up with classes, a job, and social life can be challenging to manage. To help with organization, I suggest writing EVERYTHING down. Writing things down is proven to help with reinforcement for your memory. Agendas + Planners If there is one piece of advice that I would give to future college students, it would definitely be to keep an agenda You can use your phone’s calendar and reminders features; but I prefer an A G E N D A. When trying to balance coursework, an agenda will help you to not overlook any assignments or to be surprised when they are due sooner than you “remembered.” Using stickers, colored gel pens, setting goals, and crossing off completed tasks will make you feel so accomplished and help you get a handle on things. Seeing tasks written down in front of you will help you want to get them done faster because you will want your week to be completed with all of your tasks checked off/crossed out. There’s just something about seeing your tasks completed in front of your eyes that is so motivating and oddly satisfying. Syllabuses and Schedules When starting a new semester/ school year, I open up the syllabus that the professor provides for class. I go to the “course schedule” and write down each assignment with the corresponding date into my agenda. I use a different color pen to write down exam and quiz dates. (I also use cute stickers to make my agenda look more girly and pretty to look at). I do this for every class. Next to each assignment, I place a checkbox. When I have completed the assignment, I check the checkbox to indicate that the assignment is turned in. When assignments fall on a Monday, I place a reminder on the Friday before to let myself know that I have an assignment due right after a weekend. This helps me do assignments early and plan my days better. Also, don’t forget to write down your work schedule, internship schedule, appointments, interviews, ceremonies, or any other important days that you need to remember! Motivation When I see that I have assignments due on weekend days (oh, how fun), I really aim to do them before Friday so that I can have the weekend to myself. Knowing that I can have a weekend without homework and assignments gives me real M O T I V A T I O N to finish work by Friday. This goes into my next tip - always have motivation. Even if it’s something small, it will persuade you to get your work done EARLY. My motivation is a homework-free weekend. Yours could be rewarding yourself with some Netflix binging, a self-care day, or anything that you enjoy doing. Having this self-discipline will aid you in life when it comes to adulting. Establishing a Routine To lock this in, my last tip would be to allow yourself to get into the R O U T I N E of doing this. Like anything new, you have to stick to it in order to incorporate it into your regular routine. Beginning out a new semester/school year with keeping an agenda and writing things down will keep you on track for the semester. Check your agenda daily and this will be incorporated into your daily routine without you even thinking about it. After a while, you will be so much of a pro that you will be able to visualize your assignments in your head for the week because you’re so accustomed to looking at your agenda daily/weekly. Be patient with yourself and you will break this habit of procrastination. Small flex: I have prided myself on actually beating procrastination. It is something that I have truly mastered and has helped me maintain exceptional grades throughout high school and college. You can do it too! Check out other tips and tricks for school success on our other blog posts and follow us @ShesSpeakingBlog on Instagram and Pinterest for even more tips, tricks, and motivational quotes. Leave a comment down below with your best tips on beating procrastination! Hello, everyone! My name is Kenzie Hagerty, and I’m a co-founder of the She’s Speaking Blog. We hope that you benefited from last week’s post on self-care methods and even tried out a few for yourself. This week we want to talk about the best tips and tricks for studying! Maybe you were never the type to study in high school and now you don’t know how? Maybe your current study methods aren’t working for you? These versatile tips and tricks can help any type of learner study more efficiently.
Clean Your Study Space A dirty study space won’t produce the best work possible and can even cause anxiety. Before each study session, after each study session, or even once per day, take a few minutes to clean up clutter and misplaced items around your study area. Clear off the desk, put away and file any loose paperwork, declutter the room around the study area, clean up any trash or dust. All of these little tasks will create a more spacious, distraction-free study zone that will allow you to get the most out of your work time. Change Study Positions Everyone gets bored of the same old same old, this applies to your study space too! If you find yourself dozing off during a study session, daydreaming about weekend plans, or in any way unable to focus. Change study spaces! Move somewhere else with all of your supplies, and set up for a 30 minute to a one-hour work session to get yourself back in the groove. If you like background noise, find places that provide that subtle noise without headphones and music. If you like silence, seek out places that require quiet or where you are alone. Some study space ideas include:
Use a Planner This might seem like a common study and organization trick, but it’s worthy of a reminder. A planner for college is essential! Not only should you have a planner, but it should be with you all the time, it should be your go-to for daily life scheduling. When it comes to studying if you’re the type to put off studying or avoid it altogether, block out specific times in the week and during the day specifically for studying. Use colorful pens to color-code classes, note which class or classes you want to study for during this time. Blocking out this time will make you much more likely to follow through with your plan and reach your study goals. Notifications and Reminders Another common study tip, but one that’s even more relevant now than ever before, setting notifications and reminders. We live with our phones within arm’s reach and smartwatches on our wrist 24/7, so make sure you’re utilizing these tools to their fullest potential. Along with a planner, notifications and reminders can be set up through apps on your phone or even university systems, so that you never forget or miss a deadline. Set reminders a week, or a few days before big tests or quizzes to make you remember to study and prepare. Set reminders about your scheduled study blocks, so that you don’t forget and try to make other plans. We all have the habit of picking up our electronics at every little ding or vibration, so make these notifications reinforce productivity. Prioritize - Due Date, Importance, + Difficulty It is important to understand which tasks need to come first and which ones can be put off for a little while longer. While setting up planners and notifications, or even to-do lists, consider which studying tasks might need to be prioritized over others. Is there a big exam next week? Or a possible pop quiz in class tomorrow? Prioritize by date first, then by importance, but always set expectations of how much you should or need to get done within the day. If you only make yourself study for tomorrow's quiz, then you might miss out on a short study session for next week’s test. Also, consider prioritizing by difficulty! Sometimes it’s simple to get through smaller, easier tasks first, and then dread the bigger or more difficult task we’ve left until last. Reverse this struggle by completing the hardest task first. For example, if there’s a subject you struggle in or dislike, complete this studying first. Knocking out what might take up the most of your time or be the most difficult will prevent procrastinating because of fear of what’s to come and leave you with a list of simpler tasks after the high of a major accomplishment. Set a Timer, Work, Take Breaks As much as we all want to be Wonder Woman, sometimes we need a break. This applies to study time, especially if you need to increase concentration and motivation. Set a timer on your phone or laptop for 30 to 45 minutes. This is your study time, without interruption or distraction. Then, when that timer goes off give yourself a 5 to 15-minute break to get up, move around, and reward yourself for successful study time. You can base these time segment lengths on the subject matter, the amount of material you have to study, and even the difficulty of the material, but make sure the rewards for your successful study time are worth working for. Knowing that you have a break around the corner will keep your concentration better intact, improve memory, serve as an energy boost, and reduce performance stress. Use breaks to check your phone, take a walk outside, make a healthy snack, or even do a quick workout. The more you get your body and mind moving, the more rejuvenated you’ll be for the next study-time timer. Put Your Phone Away! Finally, put your phone away! This doesn’t just mean put your phone under your leg or in your desk drawer. Put your phone far out of sight, out of reach, and even in another room if possible. Once you’ve set your timer (see the tip above) don’t reach for your phone again until this timer goes off and break time is signaled. It’s obvious that our phones are a major distraction from work productivity, and getting rid of this major distraction can be difficult. So, if you need phone time, make this a part of your break reward and practice putting distance between you and your study materials and your devices. Hopefully, a few of these tips and tricks can be useful in future studies. Learning to prioritize, complete, and carry out work is a different process for everyone, but something we all must learn to do. Mental health, self-care, physical well-being, and more can all tie into one's ability to study and work well. But once you find what works best for you, success is inevitable. Check out what our other founders listed as their best study methods on the She’s Speaking Podcast Episode 2. Let us know what your best study tips and tricks are in the comments below! Hey everyone! My name is Jamie Babecka and I am another founder of She’s Speaking. I hope you enjoyed last week’s blog about the importance of overcoming perfectionism. Another way to do that is to take some time (a day, a couple hours or even 30 minutes) to relax and recharge. Are you not a fan of bubble baths or want to spice up your routine? No worries! These tips are fresh ideas for your self-care time. It’s important to take care of yourself, so let’s talk about a few easy ways you can incorporate self-care into your daily routine!
Unplug The first step to any self-care day or routine is to put your phone down. Yes, you read that right. Put all of your electronic devices on airplane mode and place them somewhere where you won’t constantly be reaching for them. Scrolling through social media can be very draining and counter-productive to the relaxation and peace we are trying to achieve through self-care. You can implement this tip into your daily routine by resisting the urge to check your phone during the first hour after you wake up in the morning. Get Outside Especially when the weather is nice, try going outside for at least 30 minutes every day. Spending time in nature is refreshing and easy to do. You can soak up some Vitamin D on a sunny day and hear the relaxing sounds of birds singing. Here are some simple ways you can get outside a little each day:
Journal Take a few minutes every night to write down your thoughts in a notebook or journal. You can journal about what you are grateful for, goals you have for the next day or even the emotions you felt during the day. You can also just word-dump anything that comes to your mind when you pick up the pen. By getting your thoughts out of your head and onto paper, you will free up your mind and ease the stress and worry you may feel throughout the day. Try journaling in whatever style works best for you before you go to bed this week. Cook a Nice Meal Instead of eating another box of mac-n-cheese or ordering takeout off Uber Eats, fire up your oven and cook yourself a meal. Not only are you saving money and eating healthier, but you are also being more intentional with the time you take to cook and eat. Cooking can also be a bonding activity that you can do with a roommate or a partner. When you sit down to eat, try leaving your phone in another room and keeping the television off. This way you can be present and enjoy the tastes and textures of your meal. So look up a recipe on Pinterest and try something new for dinner tonight. Start a New Book I used to read all of the time as a kid. My mom couldn't take me to the library fast enough and I would read multiple books a week. But as I got older, I started reading for fun less and less until recently, when I would hardly pick up a book at all. With Netflix, Instagram and TikTok at our fingertips 24/7, it is difficult to set down our phone and pick up a book. I would encourage you to try reading for 30 minutes a day or set your goal to read one chapter each day. Reading is very relaxing and allows you to escape your present reality and struggles for a little while. Plus, books don’t emit eye-strain inducing blue-light like our phones and computers do! I just started reading Normal People by Sally Rooney and would definitely recommend it! (and there is a tv series based on the book on Hulu right now!) I hope these tips inspired you to focus on your mental well-being! It can be hard to hit the pause button on our busy schedules. However, your productivity, motivation and happiness will increase. So remember to take time for yourself this week! Let us know what your favorite way to practice self-care is in the comments down below! |
AuthorsBrynn Powers Archives
May 2021
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