Hello, everyone! Co-founder Kenzie here on the blog this week. We hope you enjoyed last week’s blog post about Greek Life and Sorority Pros and Cons. This week I want to talk about something that’s relevant to all of us. Whether you’re going for your dream job interview, getting up on stage to sing in front of a crowd, or speaking your opinion in a group of friends, we all want to have confidence. Confidence is essential to feel good about yourself, stand up for what you want and deserve, and achieve your goals. Some of us want to improve our self-confidence, while others of us want to learn how to start building confidence from the ground up. Either way, I want to share some tips and tricks for building and improving confidence, and bust some myths about self-confidence that you might have.
What is Self-Confidence? So first, what is self-confidence? Self-confidence is defined as the courage to know yourself, believe in yourself, and act on your beliefs. It can also be defined as a positive feeling about oneself and the world that leads to courageous actions born out of a sense of self-respect. Self-Confidence is what allows us to stand tall, stick up for ourselves and what we believe in, and contributes to our ideas of self worth. Self-confidence is an important trait to build, however, there are several common myths surrounding confidence. Confidence Myths Busted Do you think you know what self-confidence really is? Check to see how many of these common confidence myths you believe. . . Confident Women Were Just “Born This Way” Most women are not born naturally confident. In fact, most confident women have faced tough relationships with themselves. Women that appear confident have had to carry themselves through the journey of building confidence, just as you will have to do, before they make confidence “look easy”. You can research some of the most famous women of our time (think Michelle Obama, Taylor Swift, Oprah) and you’ll find that they all struggled with or continue to struggle with self-confidence. These women were able to put in the work and build confidence, so can you! Changing Your Body is the Key to Being More Confident The idea of changing your body or your appearance to look more confident might work at first, but this isn’t a long-term solution. To build real, genuine self-confidence you have to deal with what’s beneath the surface of your confidence issues. This means dealing with the tough stuff - self-worth issues, limiting beliefs, body image, etc. When Someone Loves You, You’ll Finally Feel Pretty, Confident, and Worthy Finding validation in someone else is not the way to build self-confidence. You have to find internal validation, self-acceptance, to change the beliefs inside of you that are holding back your confidence. While a loving, caring partner can help you see yourself with more kindness, your partner cannot do the internal work for you. You have to do the hard work yourself. If you go into a relationship seeking validation from your partner and expecting them to be responsible for upholding your confidence, you’re setting yourself up for a toxic relationship. Building Self-Confidence is a One-Time Only Process Confidence is an ongoing process. It doesn’t happen overnight, and once you’ve built up your confidence you have to work to keep it up. Your confidence levels will fluctuate with the highs and lows of life. You’ll reach goals that will help boost your confidence and hit bumps in the road that challenge it, but you have to remember that confidence is a journey that requires persistent work. Now that you know these common thoughts are totally false, you can start building your confidence. Let’s talk about how to do that. Improving Confidence So, you know that you don’t have to be “born with” confidence, that confidence doesn’t come from external validation, and that building confidence is a long-term process. Now how do we do it? How can you build yourself up to be the most confident person in the room? It starts with self-care, self-love, and internal validation. There are several activities you can do to boost your self-confidence: Learn About Something You Love Educating yourself is one of the most empowering things that you can do, this is especially true when educating yourself about something that interests you. Learning more about something you love or what you do will automatically improve your confidence in yourself and your intellectual abilities. Workout Register for a local Zumba, yoga, or CrossFit class, go for a jog, or even just take your dog for a walk. Getting up and moving is key, because this releases endorphins, chemicals in the brain that make us feel happier. Not only can working out help boost happiness, it's also proven that working out can help improve self-esteem, lower anxiety, and reduce risk of depression, all of which can impact your self-confidence. Take Yourself on a Self-Development Date Yes, we’re talking about taking yourself to the movies, taking yourself out to dinner alone, or even going on a walk in the park while listening to music or podcasts. Does going out alone seem awkward or embarrassing? It shouldn’t! Learning how to spend time alone, appreciate yourself, and value your time is key to personal development in those areas that can affect self-confidence - self-worth, body image, personal beliefs, etc. Utilize this alone time to self reflect, make plans to improve, and reassure yourself with positive thoughts. Do a Self-Care Day at Home We could all use a self-care day right now, and this means more than just a spa-day. Take those extra steps to disconnect and treat yourself: step away from social media, turn off your phone and other electronics, meditate, read a good book or watch a good movie, and take time to treat yourself to a bubble bath or some delicious food. Taking care of your physical and mental health is essential to building self-confidence, because if you’re not at your best physically and mentally, it’ll be harder to portray self-confidence. The activities above are great for helping boost overall self-confidence overtime, but what if you need an in-the-moment self-confidence boost? The following ideas can instantly help boost self-confidence: Make a List of All the Things You Love About Yourself Include everything! From physical appearance, to special skills or talents, personal or relationship behaviors, or even work abilities. Seeing the list you come up with in front of your eyes will make you realize how many valuable qualities that you have and boost your self-confidence and self-worth. This activity, however, can be hard at first. It’s easy to get stumped when trying to think of positives for ourselves. So, if you’re having trouble, skip to the next activity to get a jump start on the list. Reach Out to Your Support System Text your support system (family, best friends, significant other, etc.) this question: “I am doing research and I need to know four things you admire about me”. Take a step back and realize that these are the people that you’ve picked to be in your life and they chose to stay in your life. Do you see yourself in the same positive, loving light as those that are closest to you? Place all of the positive traits they give you in the “All the Things I Love About Me” list to get it started. Remember Recent Achievements Think back over the last two years and remember all of the accomplishments and milestones you’ve hit. Graduating from school, getting into grad school, landing an internship or job, a promotion, moving out of your parents house, or reaching a travel goal. Relive every one of these accomplishments, how much planning and work they required, how amazing you felt when you succeeded. Take the time to celebrate your achievements and remind yourself how great you’re going for an instant boost of confidence. Self Affirmations These can sound cheesy, but self affirmations can be a great pick me up if you’re feeling down, and they’re proven to work! Find a mirror, look yourself in the eyes, and start repeating I AM statements like “I am beautiful. I am smart. I am worthy. I am fearless. I’ve got this.”. Focus on these words, mean them when you say them, and imagine yourself succeeding and accomplishing goals as you do this. The way you speak to yourself impacts everything from your mental health to the way you carry yourself, your self-worth, and yes, your self-confidence. So speak to yourself the way you would speak to your best friend, be reassuring and positive and this will become your mindset. Confidence doesn’t happen overnight. It takes work to build real, genuine self confidence, and it’s not always an easy process. Use the tips above to help guide you in your self-confidence journey, but, if you find yourself struggling with confidence in the moment - fake it till you make it. How does anyone know you don’t feel confident if you don’t let it show? So, stand up straighter, lift your chin, and push through self-doubt or worry, because in the end as long as you make yourself appear confident, others will often believe that you are. For more confidence tips, check out the She’s Speaking Confidence Pinterest board. Follow She’s Speaking on both Instagram and Pinterest @ShesSpeakingBlog for more girl talk and life advice. Leave us a comment below about your journey to build confidence!
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AuthorsBrynn Powers Archives
May 2021
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